Atonement: Rei's Story
by Jason C. Ulloa


Chapter 12

Finally, it was Rei's birthday. Fortunately, it was a weekend, so there was no school today.

Rei's birthday parties were usually small. Once the the Kino siblings started living at 
their shrine, her small celebrations became just a little bit bigger. This year, she 
actually had friends coming over to celebrate her birthday with her.

Granted, it was only Usagi, but still, having more friends over to share in her birthday 
celebration made her feel so much better than just spending it with only her Grandpa.

"But, why aren't there any birthday decorations?" Usagi asked as she glanced around the 
shrine grounds. The jinja looked the same as it usually did. "I thought you were 
celebrating Rei-chan's birthday today."

"We are, Usagi-chan," Makoto told her. "It's just that we didn't think it'd be right to 
put up party decorations on the shrine grounds. After all, it's not like it's a proper 
festival or anything."

"Oh," the blonde girl said, slightly disappointed. "That's too bad. I love seeing festive 
party decorations and stuff."

"I'm sure Grandpa'll put up some of that stuff inside," Ryoku pointed out.

"Yay!" Usagi cheered eagerly. "Oh, by the way, did Rei-chan ever find the decoy presents?"

"She did," he nodded.

"Did she say anything about them?"

"She smacked Ryo-chan in the back of the head this morning during breakfast," Makoto said, 
smirking at her older brother. "She said that that was what he deserved for cheating."

"Cheating?" Usagi repeated, giving Ryoku a reproachful look.

"Hey, wait a minute!" he shot back, folding his arms across his chest. "Don't give me that 
look! You knew it was the only way I could make sure that Rei-chan got her presents on her 
birthday. Don't act like you didn't have a hand in this!"

"I was just kidding, Ryo-kun," she said, grinning mischievously.

Makoto blinked. "What are you talking about, Ryo-chan? Did Usagi-chan help you hide 
Rei-chan's presents?"

"Yep!" Usagi said proudly. "Thanks to me, Rei-chan wasn't able to find her birthday 
presents!"

"Where did you hide them?" Makoto asked curiously.

"In my room!" she announced, grinning widely as she held out a 'V'-sign with her hand.

"I left decoy presents in Rei-chan's room so that she could have something to find," Ryoku 
explained. "After all, it's not fair to Rei-chan if I didn't give her something to hunt 
for. I wouldn't want her perfect record to be ruined just because I cheated."

"But she didn't find her presents," Usagi pointed out.

"True, but she did find the decoys," he told her. "As far as we're all concerned, finding 
those was the same as finding the real thing. She still wins." He gave them a small 
half-smirk. "The only difference is that she doesn't get to open them early this year."

"That still doesn't seem very fair," she remarked.

"Well, she found them just last night, so it doesn't really matter that much whether they 
were the real thing or not," he replied. "So she has to wait a few more hours. She'll be 
fine."

Usagi shrugged. "Anyway, what did you get Rei-chan for her birthday?"

Ryoku folded his arms again. "That... is a secret."

"Aw, no fair!" she pouted.

"Hey, hey," Makoto said placatingly. "You'll find out in a little while anyway, right?"

Usagi blinked. "Oh, yeah!" she said brightly. Ryoku and Makoto just exchanged wry looks.

"Anyway, I'm gonna go see if Grandpa needs any help with the remaining decorations," Ryoku 
said, turning to leave.

"I'll go with you," Makoto said, following close behind.

"Me, too," Usagi added, following suit.

            **********************************************

After the preparations were complete, everyone gathered in the living room. Usagi glanced 
around eagerly, delighted at all the decorations as she, Makoto, and Ryoku all sat around 
the table.

Rei sat at the head of the table, also taking in the decorations. This was much more 
extravagant than she was used to. Normally, her birthday parties were small affairs. 
Usually, it was just her and her Grandpa. Decorations were few, and as she grew older, she 
had opted for even less. After all, when it was just them, there didn't seem to be a point 
to it. She knew it was all for her sake, but the decorations served to remind her that 
while others had larger parties with dozens of guests, she was, for the most part, alone.

When Ryoku came to live with them, and then Makoto, she hadn't really noticed it, but the 
decorations that Grandpa usually put up slowly grew more ornate and celebratory. Maybe, in 
a way, it was like the decorations represented her happiness. She wasn't as lonely as she 
used to be on her birthday when it was just her and Grandpa. She had friends now. Good 
friends like Makoto and Usagi....

And Ryoku.

Now that she thought about it, this all started back when she found him lying alone in the 
park that night. That was when she brought him home with her, beginning his new life at 
the Hikawa Jinja.

No. Actually, it all started when she first met him, along with his sister and Keiko. That 
was when it all started. That was when her loneliness first started to disappear.

It wasn't just Ryoku who has started a new life. It was her, too.

She glanced over to where Ryoku was sitting across from her with a small smile on his face. 
'I wonder if he realizes how much my life has changed since I met him. Him and his sister. 
If I hadn't met them back then, would I still be spending my birthdays alone?'

Grandpa came out of the kitchen with a small birthday cake with several candles on it. It 
was a chocolate one, apparently. Usagi's eager expression turned up a couple of notches 
once the cake came into view.

"I hope you like the cake, Rei-chan," Makoto said with a pleased grin. "Ryo-chan and I 
worked hard to make that for you."

"It looks great!" she said happily. "Thank you, Mako-chan, Ryo-kun!"

Ryoku nodded, his smile widening slightly.

After Grandpa set down the cake and lit the candles, everyone started singing 'Happy 
Birthday.' Usagi was a bit off-key, much to Ryoku's chagrin and discomfort, but for the 
moment, Rei didn't care if her singing was subpar. She had friends celebrating her birthday 
and she was no longer alone. That was what was important.

She took a deep breath and blew out her candles.

            **********************************************

"All right, Rei-chan," Grandpa announced after everyone finished eating their cake and 
cleared the table. "It's time to open your final birthday presents." He brought over the 
two wrapped boxes from the table in the living room and set them down in the middle of the 
table.

Rei gave Ryoku a sharp look. "It's only because Ryo-kun cheated that wasn't able to find 
the last ones," she griped.

Ryoku shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure that you got these presents on your birthday," 
he explained. "You can't really blame me for wanting that, can you?"

"I can."

"That's harsh, Rei-chan," he replied, rubbing the back of his head in chagrin. "At any 
rate," he began as he handed her the larger of the two presents, "this one is from 
Mako-chan."

Rei took the box from him and looked it over before carefully unwrapping the present. She 
then opened the box, revealing a pretty red blouse and black skirt.

"It's not that often that I see you in clothes other than your school uniform or your 
hakama," Makoto explained. "I just hope that you like them."

"Thank you, Mako-chan!" she said as she got up and went over to her friend to give her a 
big hug. "I love it!"

"Next, this one is from me," Ryoku said as he handed her the smaller present.

"Feels heavy, like a book," Rei remarked as she regarded the gift before carefully 
unwrapping it. Her breath caught as she stared at the golden kanji characters embossed on 
the front of the leather covering. It looked beautiful.

"Open it," he suggested as she ran her fingers over the gold foil in the book's title.

She nodded and opened the front cover of the book. Written in small print on the inside 
cover was a short message. A poem, she realized, after glancing quickly through the 
message. She read through the poem again, slowly, taking in each word one at a time.

'Sometimes, I feel like there's no point to anything.
Sometimes, I think about things that hurt.
Sometimes, I say the wrong thing and make you mad at me.
Sometimes, I tell you something that makes you smile.
Sometimes, I wish it was easier to say what I feel.
Sometimes, I wonder if you already know.
As you read this book and the poems within, all I ask is just one thing:
That, sometimes, you think of me.'

Rei closed the book and looked at Ryoku. He was simply sitting there, smiling. It was 
surprising; she never expected him to be capable of writing something like that. It almost 
seemed as if he was trying to say something to her that he couldn't seem to say out loud.

"Thank you, Ryo-kun," she said as she gave him a hug, too. "This is a wonderful gift."

"I'm just glad you like it," he replied. "It was hard trying to find the right gift for 
you."

"Rei-chan, I got something for you, too!" Usagi chimed in as Rei released Ryoku. She 
reached under the table and brought out a small wrapped package.

Rei blinked. "Even Usagi?" she said in surprise.

"What are looking so surprised for?" Usagi asked with a hurt look. "I spent a long time 
looking for a good present for you, Rei-chan!"

"Sorry, sorry," she said apologetically. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"It's all right," the blonde girl said, smiling again as she handed her the present. "Here! 
I hope you really like it!"

Rei glanced down at the present for a moment before opening it. She then gasped in surprise 
as she held up the latest volume of one of her favorite manga series. "It's Volume 12! I 
didn't even know it came out yet!"

"I thought you might like it," Usagi said proudly. "I like that series, too, you know."

"Really?" she asked, then paused as she realized something. "Hey, wait a minute. Don't the 
manga in this series usually come shrink-wrapped?"

"Eh? Eh, heh, heh, heh...," Usagi said, laughing sheepishly.

"Usagi?" she said, giving her a stern look.

"I didn't have enough for two copies and I wanted to know what happens next!" Usagi wailed. 
"I made sure to take good care of it before I gave it to you! Don't be mad at me, Rei-chan!"

"Honestly, Usagi," Rei huffed, folding her arms across her chest and tossing her head 
irritably, "what were you thinking, giving me a second-hand birthday present?" 

"I'm sorry, Rei-chan...," Usagi moaned, on the verge of breaking into tears.

Rei glanced at Usagi out of the corner of her eye and sighed. "If you wanted to read it so 
bad, you could've waited until after I opened it," she told her.

"Really, Rei-chan?" she asked hopefully.

"Well, you'd have to wait until I finished with it, of course," Rei added with a grin. "I 
get first dibs on my stuff, after all."

"Thanks, Rei-chan!" Usagi cheered as she hugged her friend. Rei blinked at the sudden 
embrace, looking at Makoto and Ryoku. Makoto laughed quietly to herself while Ryoku merely 
shrugged and gestured as if to say it was something she'd get used to.

"All right, all right!" she exclaimed as she tried to get free. "There's no need to make 
such a scene! You're welcome, all right? Geez!"

Grandpa sat back and watched the interaction between the children. A small smile spread 
across his lips as he watched his dear granddaughter have the best birthday she ever had in 
a long time.

            **********************************************

Some time later, after Usagi had gone home and everybody had finished cleaning up, Rei laid 
on her bed, reading over the small poem that Ryoku had written for her in her book. She had 
read it several times already, but she read it again anyway.

There was something to this poem; she was certain. Ryoku was pretty guarded with his 
thoughts. It took him over a year just to reveal to her part of why he wanted to become a 
priest, and he hadn't said anything more on the subject since.

Reading this poem reminded her of how she felt that day, when he finally confided to her 
that one reason. If felt like she was about to learn something else about her brooding, yet 
occasionally enigmatic friend.

Finding out that Ryoku had a poetic side to him was a pleasant surprise. A small part of 
her wanted to show the poem to Makoto and see what she thought of the poem, but she decided 
against it. If Makoto didn't know that her brother had poetic skill, she wanted to be the 
only one who knew it. She wanted it to be her secret and hers alone.

Besides, that poem was too personal to show anyone.

'What were you trying to say, Ryo-kun?' she wondered as she came to the end of the poem 
once again. 'You say you wonder if I already know what you feel. Well, I can certainly tell 
you that I don't know.' With a sigh, she closed her book and set it down on the edge of her 
bed.

'Well,' she thought as she rolled off her bed and got to her feet, 'he should be praying at 
the haiden right now. Maybe now would be a good time to ask him.'

            **********************************************

As Rei approached the haiden, she could see that not only was Ryoku in his usual spot, but 
Makoto was standing there next to him, praying as well. Makoto glanced up as she drew 
closer and nodded.

Rei reached up, rung the bells, clapped her hands, and began to pray.

"Did you enjoy your party?" Makoto asked as she finished her prayer.

"Yeah," she nodded happily. "It was the best party I've had in years."

Makoto gave her a curious look. "Oh?"

"It was the first time I've had friends come to one in a long time," she admitted with a 
wistful smile. "Even if it was just Usagi."

The ponytailed girl gave her friend a sympathetic look. "Well, if it'll make you feel 
better, Ryo-chan and I will always be there for the rest of them. And probably Usagi-chan, 
too."

Rei rolled her eyes and snorted. "Well, as long as she doesn't try to give me any more 
second-hand presents," she said dryly.

"Oh, give her a break, Rei-chan," Makoto said with a chagrined grimace. "She meant well."

"Yeah, I know," she relented and smiled. "Well, she did get me the latest volume of one of 
my favorite series, so she's forgiven."

Makoto nodded and smiled back. "Well, I'm going to go help Grandpa make dinner. I'm sure 
you won't mind keeping Ryo-chan company while I'm gone, right?" she added with a wink as 
she headed back into the shrine.

After Makoto left, Rei leaned against one of the shrine's wooden supports as she watched 
Ryoku pray silently. "What are you thinking, Ryo-kun?" she asked quietly. "What do you 
think about when you pray?" She gave him a contemplative look. "Or, do you clear out your 
mind while you pray?"

Rei's head tilted as she considered that thought. "Is that why your prayers are always so 
long? Because you're trying to clear your mind of all thought?" She stood up and walked 
over to where he was standing and gazed into his face. "Do you still think about 
Keiko-chan, Ryo-kun? You've told me that it doesn't hurt as much as it used to, but you're 
still hurting, aren't you? You've even said so in that little poem of yours you wrote in my 
book.

"Ryo-kun, why can't you tell me what's going on in your head?" she said quietly. "Don't you 
trust me? I want to know because I'm your friend. Stop keeping everything inside of you and 
confide in me, dammit! I want to help you!"

Ryoku remained silent and unmoving, still locked in prayer.

Rei sighed. "Sometimes I forget that you can't hear me when you're like this," she laughed 
faintly. "I really feel silly shouting at you like this."

She turned around and leaned back against him, like she usually did whenever they were 
alone while he was busy praying. "You know, Ryo-kun, that poem of yours really touched me. 
I had no idea you could write like that." She smiled fondly as she stared up into the night 
sky. "I really liked the book you got me, but that little poem of yours was the best gift 
of all." She stood back up and glanced around, checking to see if anyone was around. Seeing 
no one, she turned and gave him a quick peck on his cheek.

"Thank you, Ryo-kun," she said and quickly turned away, her cheeks blushing bright red. 
"A-Anyway, if you don't hurry it up, you'll miss dinner." With that, she quickly jogged 
over to the shrine and went inside.

A few moments after Rei went inside, Ryoku's hand came up and touched his cheek where Rei 
kissed him. He opened his eyes and glanced toward the shrine.

"Rei-chan...."

            **********************************************

After dinner, Rei went back to her room. That new manga of hers was just waiting to be read 
and she was eager to get to it.

Just as she sat down on her bed with her manga, someone quietly knocked on her door. "Yes?" 
she called out as she cracked open the manga.

"Are you busy, Rei-chan?" Ryoku asked.

Rei closed her manga and set it aside. He sounded hesitant. Maybe he wanted to talk? "Come 
in."

"I'm coming in, then." He opened the door, stepped inside, and closed the door behind him. 
As she surmised, he looked hesitant. He was staring at the floor, as if he was thinking 
deeply about something.

"What's wrong, Ryo-kun?" she asked, watching him concernedly.

Ryoku remained silent for a moment before speaking. "I need to ask you something, Rei-chan."

"What is it about?"

"Keiko-chan," he replied quietly.

Rei's breath caught for a second. "Wouldn't Mako-chan be a better person to speak to about 
that?" she suggested. "She's known her longer than I have."

"I know," he replied as he lifted his head and looked at her. "This is more about me than 
Keiko-chan, and this is something I don't want to talk to her about just yet."

Now Rei grew even more concerned. If this was something that he didn't want to talk to his 
sister about, then it must be serious. He loved his sister dearly and shared almost 
everything with her. There were practically no secrets between them. She felt a little 
better knowing that he wasn't going to keep what he was going to tell her a secret from 
Makoto, but still.

"Tell me, Ryo-kun," she said, gesturing for him to sit down next to her on the bed. "What's 
wrong?"

Ryoku sat down on Rei's bed and stared down on the floor again. "Do you think it's time for 
me to let go of Keiko-chan and move on with my life?" he asked quietly.

Rei stared at him in disbelief. "What?" she said, barely managing to keep herself from 
shouting it in shock. That boy had been stubbornly clinging onto his dead girlfriend for 
so long, she was half-afraid that he'd never get over her. She could only wonder what 
finally got him to let go.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately," he continued as if to answer her unvoiced 
question. "I've been holding onto Keiko-chan's memory for such a long time and so tightly 
that I've been too afraid of losing even those memories to even consider moving on with my 
life."

"Ryo-kun...," Rei said sympathetically as she took one of his hands in hers.

He glanced down at her hand intertwined in his, looked back up at her, and smiled 
gratefully. "I just want to be sure that if I do move on, that I won't forget her," he told 
her. "I promised her that I wouldn't forget her. I can't break that promise. But, I want 
to move on with my life. I want to...." He trailed off and looked away, staring back down 
at the ground again.

"Want to what?" she asked curiously.

He shook his head. "It's not important."

Rei frowned, but let the matter drop. "Anyway, Ruo-kun, I think it would be all right. Do 
you think Keiko-chan would be happy seeing you in such pain because of her death? She'd be 
miserable. It'd hurt her to see you in such pain. I know if it were me, I wouldn't want 
you to be in such misery." Her expression took on a sad cast as she thought of Ryoku in the 
same kind of agony he had experienced over Keiko's death happening because of her own 
death. She quickly shook her head, clearing the depressing mental image from her mind.

"Listen, Ryo-kun," she continued, squeezing his hand for added emphasis. "You'll never 
forget Keiko-chan. She's a part of you as long as you keep your happy memories together in 
here," she said, tapping him lightly on his chest. "It's past time for you to move on with 
your life. Being miserable doesn't suit you. Not only that, but it makes Mako-chan and me 
sad, as well. You understand?"

Ryoku nodded and softly embraced her. "Thanks, Rei-chan. I really appreciate it," he said 
quietly.

Rei blinked in surprise for a moment, but quickly returned the embrace with a fond smile. 
"Anytime, Ryo-kun. By the way, why didn't you want to talk to Mako-chan about this?" she 
inquired.

"I think she might've misinterpreted the reason why I would ask such a question," he 
explained as he broke the embrace and stood up. "She might've suspected that I was asking 
only because I had a specific girl in mind."

She blinked again. "Specific girl?"

"Don't worry about it," he replied, shaking his head. "At any rate, I'll let you get back 
to reading that new manga of yours. Thanks again for taking the time to talk to me." With 
that, he opened the door and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Rei continued staring at the door after Ryoku left. "Specific girl?" she wondered to 
herself. "What did he mean by that? Did he mean that...?" She trailed off as she put the 
pieces together. "Does Mako-chan think that Ryo-kun is starting to consider me as more than 
a friend?" She frowned in thought as she considered the possibility. "Does Ryo-kun consider 
me as more than a friend?"

After pondering the idea for a few moments, she shook her head. "No, it couldn't be. He's 
still too hung up over Keiko-chan to be looking at anyone in that way." She reached for her 
manga and cracked it open.

"Still... would it be so bad if he did?" she mused to herself with a small grin as she 
settled in to read.

            **********************************************

Disclaimer: All original materials belong to their respective owners. Sailor Moon belongs 
to Naoko Takeuchi and a bunch of big companies. No copyright infringement is intended. This 
story belongs me, so I would appreciate it very much if you would ask for permission before 
posting it anywhere else. Thank you.

The Question and all stories included are:
Copyright © July 6, 2001 Jason C. Ulloa. 
All Rights Reserved.